Life was more of a downhill for me. After my last breakup, I
had almost given up on friendships that transitioned into love. In fact, the feeling of love itself alienate me from everyone. I never believed that I could feel the same again, or even a tiny bit of it. Nurturing myself with immense care, taking baby steps, I somehow
walked, taking one day at a time.
I wasn’t a very attractive girl, most of the times I didn't consider myself average. And
to prove my inferiority right, all my past relationship did end due to the same reason. It really got me into a small cocoon, feeling depressed and low.
But inside, like every other girl, I wanted to be besotted. I wanted someone to love me for once, like the way I loved them. I know that was desperate and hankering, but what would you expect from a person who flunked in the subject of love twice? Not that I didn’t have friends. Until this day, they are my gold and the only assets who could possibly take a bullet for me. However, the love deprived state never left, it instead crawled within me… it poked at times, whenever I saw happy couples flaunting around. It hurt my insides in a way.
And then, somewhere out of the blue, I got this friend into life. I never understood how the gap between us bridged together or how our story dawned at the first place. I remember I loathed him before. However, he managed to become my best friend within a fortnight. The story never made sense to me(it doesn't even today).Well, he was every bit of a guy, a girl would long for. Affectionate, witty and gorgeous. Never did I imagine myself with him; I didn’t want to adulterate our friendship this way. Besides, he was taken. It didn’t bother me though. He never left me once he held my hand. A true friend one could say. A person who took away my love craving state with his purest form of endearment-our friendship.
We were fond of each others company. We played, we giggled. We loved sharing times together. He helped me get rid of all my inferiority, taught me to stand for myself. He was my savior in the shining armor.
Thus, our tight friendship blossomed with every passing day.
I didn’t have romantic love for him, neither did he? (I suppose, no). He was happy with his girl on the other side, while I was satisfied being his best friend on this side. My falling life had finally taken a good turn.
Funny it was, when I asked him to find a guy for myself resembling him and his ideologies. Probably, because I didn’t believe I could get the impeccable him, so I would've been satisfied even with somebody like him. Besides, his girl and him, they were my ideal couple. They formed a spectacular instance of long lasting love. I began to have conviction in love, once again. May be it did prevail? I believed so, by now.
In this way, with transition into every new year of our friendship, our bond grew stronger.
I believe I never shared a bond so pure, so pious such as ours; with any being in my life before. He shielded me, and directed me like a mother. I, like a good student obeyed all his teachings. No sooner the person, who used to be my most hated rival before, turned into the closest person today.
However, like every tragic story, my ideal pair parted their ways one day. The person, who taught me to believe in love, had himself lost faith in love. He was crumpled. It was thus my turn now, to help my friend overcome the wreckage and feel emotions again.
Following my heart, I made full attempts to bring my Sensei back to life. I tried instilling in him the same teachings that he had put into me.
We were great. A story that started out of nowhere had become too intense, too complex. He was for me, and his strength was I.
But but, amidst so much of chaos and helping, I deciphered I loved him. The parasite of love that was crawling within me for years, finally found its host. And it was none other than my best friend.
When I think about it today,I feel it should've been awkward, but honestly at that time, it didn’t seem weird. It didn’t seem emotional, we didn’t say much, he didn’t say either. I never understood what or how it happened… it just happened. I feel, it resided in me from the time I discovered this friend. May be I realized it too late and maybe he would never even realize it. Or who knows, he doesn’t even have it. May be his ex-partner was his everything, the love of his life and the only love he'd ever have for anybody. Even then, I really didn’t care if I had awakened in him even the slightest tinge of love. Because for sure, it did bud in me, again. It made me delighted. I didn’t have plans to let him know or ask about it. I didn’t expect him to retort back, for I knew I always will be his closest friend. I knew he was too well deserved for me. Also, the hand that he held for so long, in itself was the biggest happiness he could’ve given me. Loving such an amazing person was sufficient enough to bestow me with all the bliss needed, and anyways, he lit LOVE in me. That was bountiful to be optimistic about love in life. This rival turned savior for sure had messed up all the tables, again. And well, now when I think, the breakup that made me fall down years back, eventually lent me some confidence and positivity in life. And so today, here I think, everything that happens, happens for the good.
